My weekend Superbowl plans and some funnies for you. ;)

Good morning everyone. It’s still Thursday night here, but I thought I’d post this before I go to bed. This weekend, I’m going to have a brand new experience. I’ll be watching a Superbowl game in the company of Americans. We’ve booked for dinner at the club, where there’ll be a Superbowl menu to choose from ……probably serious junk food, quite different from the usual upmarket fare we usually get. The game is the 42nd annual championship and is between the New England Patriots and the New York Giants. We are booked for dinner at the kickoff time, so shouldn’t miss anything. I haven’t a clue what the rules are, but I’m sure I’ll know when someone has scored. It could get very noisy. The Americans take their football, which looks like Rugby with crash helmets and spandex suits with huge shoulder pads, very seriously indeed.

According to a couple of guys I spoke to at the gym, this is THE game of the year, and not to be missed.

I thought you might all like a laugh to send you off into your happy weekend. This was filched off the Internet by one of our club members, and published in the magazine.

THINGS MY PARENTS TAUGHT ME.

1. My Parents taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.”

2. My Parents taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3.  My Parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next
week!”

4. My Parents taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My Parents taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the
store with me.”

6. My  Parents taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My Parents taught me IRONY.
“Stop crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about.”

8.  My Parents taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

9. My Parents taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

10. My Parents taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

11.  My Parents taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

12. My Parents  taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve  told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

13. My Parents taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

14. My Parents taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

15. My Parents taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have
wonderful parents like you do.”

16. My Parents taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

17. My Parents taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

18. My Parents taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
way.”

19. My Parents taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

20. My Parents taught me HUMOUR.
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

21. My Parents taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

22. My Parents taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

23. My Parents taught me about my ROOTS.
“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”

24. My Parents taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

And my  favourite:

25.  My Parents taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !”

I could tick quite a few of these, as I’m sure you can too, but to add to this, I found a cartoon which reminds me of my childhood. This what my sister and I had instilled into us from an early age.

Have a great weekend everyone. I’ll see you when I wake up. Chat again soon.